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Control
of Emotions Takes Practice
By Lynn M. Swank
Attitude is
the key factor in surviving stress. The emotional conflicts of life will
continue to pound you even when the facts are all on your side – so
occasionally the best course is to accept and deal with the issue in the
most positive manner possible. An author named Bill Borcherdt has created
a very readable, helpful book entitled The REBT Resource Book for
Practitioners, 2000, [published by Albert Ellis Institute, New York, New
York]. In this book he develops a listing of concepts for coping. I have
used some of the items in his list (paraphrased – my apologies to him)
along with some of my own suggestions. In custody and any emotional
litigation, use of these ‘attitude adjustments’ can be extremely
helpful.
1. What
is past is behind me. My opportunities consist of today and my
future.
2. Better
for me to concentrate on what I’m doing today rather than on what I
did or didn’t do yesterday or in times past. 3. Better to live
productively in the present than to stew about the past.
4. The
past isn’t going to get any better. 5. Announcing excuses about the
past, and casting blame on others, will not make me a better person
today.
6. Poor
decisions and unfortunate events in the past do not have to be repeated
in the present.
7.
Negative gossip about others (true or not) will not make me a better
person and may only fuel conflict which should have died away.
8.
Because something once happened doesn’t mean that it will occur again
or has to continue to happen. 9. No matter how bad any event was, I do
not have to allow it to continue to have a negative influence on my
life.
10. I
cannot rewrite history and change what has already happened.
11.
Whining and screaming about the injustices and unfairness of the past
will only take a bad situation and make it worse.
12.
Having been treated unfairly in the past is all the more reason to be
fair to myself and others from this moment forward.
13. Now
that I have experienced how not to treat people, I can have a better
understanding of how they should be treated.
14. I can
use what did not kill me in the past to make myself emotionally strong
in the present.
15. I may
have suffered some hurt or insult in the past, but I do not have to
continue to inflict it upon myself emotionally.
16.
Feeling sorry for myself, angry toward others, guilty, or ashamed due to
something in the past will only continue to keep me from achieving
happiness in the present and future.
17. What
I tell myself today is much more important than what others have told me
in the past or may say about me in the future.
18. Past
experiences do not represent me. Rather, they represent things I have
experienced; they do not make me into a better or worse person.
19. The
enemy is not my past; the enemy is my way of thinking about myself.
20. What
has happened to me is not nearly as important as what I decide to do
with it.
21. There
is no shame or defeat in seeking help from a counselor, psychologist,
support group, friend, or other caring person. Many things in life are
accomplished by teamwork.
22.
Living well is the best “revenge!”
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Topic:
Estate Planning
APPLICATION
FOR SOCIAL SECURITY DISABILITY BENEFITS
The application process for disability benefits begins with an interview
and the completion of some required paperwork.
Now you can obtain Disability Report (SSA-3368) online along with
instructions and suggestions on how to use the form.
This is an official social security site, written in plain
language, and will allow you to cut significant time off both the
interview and the application process time period. http://www.ssa.gov/disabilityformhelp/

Estate tax
changes after the 2001 Congress
By Lynn M.
Swank
A catchy title would have
been nice but this article is intended to sensitize individuals to the
changes made by Congress to the Internal Revenue Code during the current
year. Estate planning should be direct and predictable – unfortunately
Congress did not include simplicity in its goals. The estate and gift tax
changes are part of the Economic Growth and Tax Relief Reconciliation Act
of 2001, termed by many as the most sweeping restructuring of the federal
tax laws in the past 20 years.
The most publicized portion
of this tax act is the rebate provision. Checks for $600 to married
couples, $500 for heads of household, and $300 for single persons will be
mailed by September. However, the Act had far reaching estate and gift tax
consequences.
Just as with prior estate
tax law revisions, the new law has a phase-in period. Over ten years,
there will be differing aspects of the law which apply. The outcome for an
estate or gift will be subject to that year’s special rules. If you do
make a Last Will and Testament, then you need to review the provisions
based on the size and distribution plans of your estate relative to each
of these time periods because federal revenue laws and your State rules
will not use the same rules from one year to the next.
Specifically for
individuals (without considering spousal by-pass trusts):
|
Year
|
Exemption Amount
|
Maximum Estate Tax
Rate
|
|
2002
|
$1 million
|
50%
|
|
2003
|
$1 million
|
49%
|
|
2004
|
$1.5 million
|
48%
|
|
2005
|
$1.5 million
|
47%
|
|
2006
|
$2 million
|
46%
|
|
2007
|
$2 million
|
45%
|
|
2008
|
$2 million
|
45%
|
|
2009
|
$3.5 million
|
45%
|
|
2010
|
REPEALED
|
REPEALED
|
· Then
in 2011 the law reinstates all taxes which exist as of the date of
enactment -- a ‘spring back’ to the rules of 2001.
The first years under this
Act will be a chaos of re-planning, however it is very doubtful that the
last part of the decade will occur as outlined in this legislation.
Congress will stir the mix several times before many of the effective
dates are reached but for now it means that long term planning will be
vague, unreliable, and subject to numerous revisions..
There are obvious problems
with the changes caused by the new law:
· Inherited capital
gains: The real concern is that in 2010 the problem of inherited
capital gains issues may resurge. Today, you're not taxed on inherited
capital gains. At present, tax is at the estate level but not on the
capital gains accumulated in assets during the lifetime of the deceased.
There are some exceptions and permitted transfers under the Act, but
simply put, in 2010 and beyond even if estate tax is not due, there may
be capital gains tax to be paid by heirs on what they take from estates.
An example of the problem is that a parent would have to be very careful
in dividing his or her estate among the children.
For example:
Marion dies in 2010
(under the current law) and leaves $100,000 in a bank account to
Mary, $100,000 in real estate to Tom which the parent purchased for
$30,000, and an IRA with $100,000 in it to Susan. Only Mary actually
receives an inheritance of $100,000. Tom would pay capital gains tax
on $70,000 of his inheritance so he would be out of pocket by
approximately 28% of $70,000 [ $19,600 in federal tax without even
considering any state income tax], Susan would pay personal income
tax (Federal and State) on the IRA as it comes available to her.
· State death tax
credits: Under present law most state death taxes are contained
inside the federal estate tax bill. A portion of what should be paid to
the Internal Revenue Service is paid to the estates and deducted dollar
for dollar from the federal total due. However, the new law gradually
reduces the state death tax credit between 2002 and 2004. Then in
January of 2005 there will no longer be a credit for state death taxes
but merely a deduction against the gross estate up to certain maximums.
Previously state death taxes have been almost invisible and
‘painless.’ Now many states are anticipated to enact their own
separate assessments so that their revenue does not cease after year
2004. If there are no Federal rules to apply, then States must develop
their own, perhaps localized rules.
· Deduction for
family owned businesses: this complex calculation is scheduled to
end effective January 1, 2004. The assets which have been protected
inside family owned business enterprises will be taxed, if at all, more
heavily and rapidly than before.
· Other
changes affect generation skipping transfers, payment of estate taxes,
and exclusion on sales of principal residence and issues on conservation
easements.
There are levels of
exemption and change. The best way to view the estate tax planning arena
from today through this statutory phase-in is that all plans must be made
on an individual basis and reviewed frequently. The composition of assets
and the anticipated size of the estate are factors which will evolve in
most people’s lives as time passes
WHAT SHOULD YOU DO?
Maintain and
standardize your financial records. Your estate may legitimately need
to demonstrate your cost and improvement basis in assets. Issues of
potential capital gains tax to heirs are real. These heirs should have
access to reliable, usable, readable, information (with underlying
receipt and documentation) so that they can minimize any tax impact.
Review your
Last Will and Testament and any trusts. Under current law, married
couples can cut their estate taxes by leaving money to children in a
bypass trust. The income from the trust goes to the surviving spouse for
life. Improper planning or leaving an estate under an old, outdated plan
can leave the bulk of the estate to the children’s trust and very little
to the surviving spouse. The outcome could be the reverse of your
intentions. Your spouse accidentally left at the economic mercy of your
children due to changes in the tax laws.
Re-evaluate any
gift giving program. Previously parents might consider depleting their
estates by making annual gifts to heirs and beneficiaries. Depletion of
estate for federal estate taxes may have less purpose now. (This brief
article does not address issues of qualification of the elderly for
Medicaid assistance with nursing homes and long term care).
Evaluate
pre-marital agreements, ownership status of assets, and potential
acquisition of new assets. Some assets should be controlled by a
surviving spouse and others may have better uses. With individuals living
longer and more actively, retirement planning may need to cover as much as
one half of an individual’s adulthood.
© 2001 Lynn M. Swank,
attorney
"If Patrick Henry
thought that taxation without representation was bad, he should see
how bad it is with representation."
--- The Old
Farmer’s Almanac
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Topic:
Adoption
The Good
and the Bad of Step-parent Adoption
By Lynn Swank
Children who have only one
parent usually dream of having two. Single parents who had help once but
lost it due to separation, divorce, or perhaps the spouse's death, look
forward to having the assistance of a new adult partner in their home.
Parents who never had a spouse may look forward to the creation of a more
traditional household. In all of this, the child wants to be part of the
family, not a part who is connected to one grownup and not to the other.
Children are very sensitive to the different status of other children in
the household as well. Issues can be very complicated, such as:
'fairness' in the amount
of funds available for support of each child,
the gifts or family relationships which may vary between step-children's
extended families,
the problem of multiple last names,
different and often conflicting visitation schedules, and
different health care providers and health insurance programs.
Step-parent adoption is
often the choice in these situations. It is more common in Georgia that a
new husband adopts the children of his wife but, of course, it can be
either parent who adopts. For the purposes of this article, the adoptive
step-parent will be considered to be the husband and the legal parent will
be the 'wife/existing mother.'
There are certain
conditions which must exist for step-parent adoption to occur:
- the legal father of the
child must consent or be in a position where his parental rights can
be terminated by court action,
- if there is no legal
father, then the possible biological father (or fathers) must have
notice and an opportunity to legally form (or abandon) a relationship
with the child
- the child, if age 14 or
older, must consent to the adoption,
- the child's parent and
the step-parent must be legally married,
- the adopting person must
have lived in Georgia for more than six months prior to filing the
petition, and
- the adopting person must
be at least 10 years older than the child being adopted¹
When a step-parent adoption
is granted by a Court, the child's name can be newly designated in whole
or in part as that chosen by the newly adopting parent and spouse. One of
the most public reasons for step-parent adoption is to give the child
the same last name as other members of the household (particularly if
there are children of this new marriage). A new birth certificate is
created which shows the child's new name and status.
By this adoption the former
step-parent has moved into a legal position equivalent to that of the
biological parent. This is one of the major problems which is often
ignored by the happy couple considering the procedure. Most parents focus
on getting the 'old' dad out of their lives. He may be delinquent in
payment of child support, in jail, never around or (from their point of
view) a dangerous influence on the child. These are 'negative' reasons for
adoption. The parent and step-parent usually have positive reasons for
adoption by often cutting out the prior parent is the driving force.
The result of the
step-parent adoption is that the new husband and the child's biological
mother are placed on equal footing regarding the child's support, custody
and legal needs. In the even that a separation or divorce ever occur
between the adoptive husband and the mother, there is no assurance that
the custody would be placed by a court in the biological parent. There
have been cases all over the state where the adopting step-parent has
received custody in the event that the marriage fell apart, and the
biological parent been ordered to pay child support. "Fair" is
not the issue. Judges are directed to make their decision based on the
best interests of the child, which may not lie with the biological
parent.
There is a flipside to this
issue. In the event that the marriage should not sustain itself after the
adoption has occurred and the biological mother should receive or be
conceded custody, then the adoptive father will be compelled to pay child
support just as if he were the original biological parent. The obligations
do not ever go back to the biological parent when such a marriage breaks
down after a final adoption. The effect of the severance of parental
rights which occurred in that adoption, legally disconnected the child
from his original birth father.
That is one other issue
which is often not considered by the couple when choosing to adopt.
Although step-parents have no legal rights to control or consent for the
child, they also have no legal obligations to support. The relationship is
social and the step-parent's extended families can also be very close to
the child. The child may have a set of Dad's family, Mom's family and the
new step-Dad's family - all supportive of the child's needs. Even if the
biological father is a disinterested and non-paying, his relatives may
have connections to the child, and the child to them. The impact of
adoption is to terminate the biological links and gorge new legal ones.
Sometimes this is very hard on the child and on those biological relatives
who have strived to maintain a connection.
After adoption the new dad
has legal rights to consent to medical care, to enroll the child in
school, and to take parental responsibility for acts done to and by the
child. All of these are very valuable and important rights. Typically the
child gains a tremendous amount in the process and the mother gets legal,
financial and emotional support as a parent. But just as the adoptive
step-parent is making a serious commitment, so is the biological parent
who allows the adoption - she should be very aware of the risks which
co-exist inside the benefits.
¹ Adults can be adopted in
a much more simple procedure, however that is not the scope of this
article.

Changed
Citizenship Rules for Adopted Children
By Lynn Swank
When an American adult plans an adoption, the intention is to expand the
family, to add a child who will grow up to have all rights and privileges
of any other person in this Country. The issue of citizenship has always
been a very complex aspect when the child to be adopted is located in
another country.
As of February 2001 with the implementation of the Child Citizenship Act
of 2000 the rules changed. Now most children who are legally adopted
through the process in their home country will return to the United States
with their new American parents and automatically have full rights of
citizenship. Most – not all. Expert assistance should be sought to
evaluate each situation and verify that all procedural steps are properly
taken. However, as a generalized explanation, this new legislation amends
the Immigration and Nationality Act (INA) to liberalize certain
procedures.
For the child to have automatic United States citizenship, all of the
following must be true: